No. 67: Keepmoat Stadium [Doncaster Rovers]

Saturday, 30th August 2014.
Doncaster Rovers v. Oldham Athletic [SkyBet League 1] 0-2

Visiting my wife's family in Doncaster was the perfect excuse to take in my first "neutral" game of the 92 quest, in what I assumed could be a fiery encounter, being a Yorks-Lancs derby of course as Oldham travelled across the Pennines to South Yorkshire.

It wasn't really though. There was a slight bit of needle because of how former Latics captain & South African international Dean Furman left Boundary park for Doncaster 18 months ago, and sure enough he got a few boos from the visiting fans when he touched the ball - but that was it really.

The liveliest interaction I really saw was some stewards debating with a few Oldham youths at the away turnstiles about what a chip sandwich should be called. "A chip butty?!! It's called a Chip Barm in Oldham!"

As I passed the conversation, I was asked to chip in (no pun intended): "'ere mate, what do you call it, a barm or a butty?" Not wanting to give away that I was a soft Southerner, I just shrugged and moved on. Although for the record - double carbs? I'd call that a "fucking travesty".

So it was a strange place to be, watching two teams I cared nothing about, play out a reasonably one-sided not very eventful late August league fixture. But I guess, given the task at hand, I may have to put up with a few of these.

So, after having a cup of tea with the wife's family, I left their place on foot and walked the 2 miles to the Keepmoat Stadium. And a surprisingly lovely walk it was too - not the grim Northern run-down town I expected to be traipsing through, but in fact a very green and pleasant redevelopment, culminating with a lovely artificial lake with a path alongside just before you get to the ground. There were even pedalos and kayaks for hire, should you so wish for some pre-match entertainment.

The ground itself was on the other side of a man-made hillock from the lake, and from this other side, the immediate vicinity was more of what I expected from this reasonably new, purpose-built new stadium.

Which is basically to say, very little.
The Keepmoat is certainly fit-for-purpose and I'm sure many clubs would be over the moon to have a stadium built like it. It's rigid, it's clean, it's comfortable, it's accessible and only 7 years old, it still has the sparkle and shine of a new stadium about it.

But let's be honest - it looks like dozens of other identikit bowls built to this sort of spec, and try as you might, you are never going to retain anything of the character of their old home - the rickety post-war terraces of Belle Vue - in a place like this.

The one Doncaster fan that responded to my request for some info on their club before my visit shared these sentiments fully. No accusing Rob Ghosh of not being a proper fan - we will see why later - but since moving across to the Keepmoat this former ST holder these days rarely goes to more than 10-12 games a season - and these mainly away.

His lack of desire for attending home games is because "the atmosphere is like a morgue. It's a sea of red seats with about 20 people stood up at the top, half-heartedly singing a third of a chant." After Saturday's game, I can only agree, sadly.

The Keepmoat Stadium: Looking from one end to the other. The same.

It's not the fans fault though of course. Stick even the most passionate group into a cake-tin like the Keepmoat and give them mediocre football, and I bet the passion would wane. Rob isn't just sitting at home moaning about it though, along with a few others he set up the "Doncaster Rovers Supporters Group" (DRSG) over the summer, with an aim to improve the match day atmosphere, merchandising & prices at the club for the benefit of all supporters. They are already 500 strong and looking for new members. If you are a Donny fan and want to do something about the negative press that idiots like me give your new ground's atmosphere - pop along and help these brave boys in their efforts, here.

The worst thing about these new-builds is they are often in the middle of fucking nowhere. And indeed, I struggled to find anything immediately around the ground to do before kick-off, other than ponder a pint of generic lager in the Beefeater & a filthy cheeseburger in the McDonalds, both about 10mins walk from the turnstiles around a new road system.

Dirty Statue.

Still, there was a nice sculpture to look at whilst walking to the ground of some bloke holding a girl's feet whilst trying to rub her fanny.

Inside the ground, you could at least get a pint of Doncaster Rovers Ale underneath the stand. Just the usual generic burgers and hotdogs though - no Chip Butties or toasted teacakes in sight, sadly.

Keepmoat in action: Looking towards a side of the ground. Samey.

I took my seat and perused the match day programme. I was interested to see One Direction's Louis Tomlinson's name on the squad list, at no. 28. I had heard about his love of DRFC & the failed takeover of the club over the summer - but had no idea our Louis is a genuine professional footballer as well as a heartthrob to a generation of teenage girls. Although his appearances in the red & white of his hometown club seem to have been limited to one 65th minute sub appearance in a reserve game against Rotherham last season. Seems odd to give him squad number then, unless it's a weird publicity stunt so that the club can sell Rovers loom bands to the 1D fan club? Surely not!

Tomlinson: No sponsors.

I did notice though from the programme that Tomlinson has failed to get any sponsors for his kit this season. Clearly not a fan favourite at the Keepmoat, despite his 4 Brit Awards & releasing the biggest-selling album of the year in 2013. Some people have very high expectations.

The game itself, well - it was mediocre. But then that could well have been because I didn't really care about the result. Oldham looked to have the game in their hands from the off, going 1-0 up in the 4th minute. And Doncaster didn't genuinely threaten after that.

The only other event of note was an unusual triple-substitution by Rovers manager Paul Dickov in the 56th minute. You don't often see that, do you?

And the temporary disarray amongst the Rovers defence that led to the giving away a penalty in the 57th minute may help explain why you don't often see such a de-stabilising move by most managers. Quickly dispatched, it was 2-0 to the visitors and that was basically that.

That sea of red seats that Rob had told me about had opened right up in front of me by the time the 80th minute came around, as the resigned Donny fans sidled out early.

My knees in attendance.

Many of them may join Rob in their self-imposed exile for the next game. I overheard one fan, when asked if he'd be up there next week, say "I'd rather watch t'paint dry on me shed!".

Fair enough. I stayed the distance though - hardcore, I am.

All Over - All out.

The highlight of my trip to Doncaster was an evening "on the tiles" in this surprisingly fun market town. A night out in Doncaster might not be top of most people's lists, but we had a reet good time, as it 'appens (Sorry).

We started with a Yorkshire standard, and a must-do - Fish 'n' Chip supper. We went with local recommendations to the fabulous Rothwell's - and my cod, chips, mushy peas & scraps with red sauce were a triumph. Seek out this unassuming place, right next to the market, next time you find yourself in Doncaster with a deep-fried craving.

Marvellous Yorkshire Chippy Tea.

You may be thinking that after such a weighty feast, I'd be straight off to my Premier Inn purple bed to sit and watch X Factor & Doctor Who, at my age. Well no fear - not when there's a ruddy live music festival going on in the pubs and clubs of Doncaster! We couldn't believe our luck, the civic streets of the town had music drifting through the air, amid the shrieks and giggles of many scantily-clad parties of young ladies, albeit.

Cask Corner, Doncaster. Fallen Trees on stage.

We based ourselves in the wonderful Cask Corner for much of the evening, listening to the Blues Stage of the festival - and we had a fantastic evening, enjoying the steel guitar rock 'n' blues covers of Steve Chapman Smith & his lovely leather stetson, to the "deep & dirty blues from the mean streets of Sheffield" from Fallen Trees. They had some grinding riffs, indeed.

Good shit, and all washed down with some choice, hoppy selections from the 10+ cask ales on tap.

So, on reflection - Doncaster was a surprisingly good away weekend destination - just a shame the football and the soulless ground were showed up by the soul food and the soul (well, blues, really) music that followed.

All in all - a good day out. Moral of the story? Don't pre-judge anything! Unless it's a lego-build identikit stadium, of course.

With thanks to Rob Ghosh (@Rupee92).

Next ground on the 92 Club Trail: Exeter City's St James' Park [13th Sep 2014].
Can you help answer a few questions about your club? Please email mefantasticmrox@mail.com